'Please do not superglue your tooth back in your mouth again': 20+ Healthcare workers share their wildest patient stories

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
May 20, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

When working in healthcare, you see people from all walks of life. From the insanely rich folk to the homeless, medical mysteries to hypochondriacs, you never know what another day at the office will hold for you. Luckily for us, these doctors shared their wildest stories about patients who had such little common sense, they were surprised they survived this long. Que the real-life Grey's Anatomy saga. Sure, most of us don't know a lot when it comes to the medical field, but there are some basics we should know, like no, you cannot survive on just beer (apparently that's not self-explanatory), or no, if your tooth falls out, you should definitely not superglue it back into place. These doctors have seen it all and more, and their stories will leave you both shocked and entertained. We can't make this us; keep scrolling for over 20 patient stories below that you'll have to read to believe. 

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  • 01
    r/AskReddit ⚫ 1 day ago rara_143 • Reddit doctors, tell us about a patient you've encountered who had such little common sense that you were surprised they'd survived this long. What is your experience, if any?
    via u/rara_143
  • 02
    Tthelaundryman • 1d ago I'm friends with a nutritionist at a hospital. One of the stories that stuck with me was a mid 30s construction worker just collapsed one day. His coworkers called an ambulance and he rushed to the hospital right? Well they discover he's nutrient deficient like in everything. So my friend is called in and she's asking him about his diet..." well I don't like eating breakfast, and I don't like eating then going back to
    via u/Tthelaundryman
  • 03
    work so I don't eat lunch and then I get home and the wife has to make dinner so I start drinking beer and by the time dinner is ready I don't wanna eat. Just have some more beer and go to bed." The dude was living off of nothing but beer. He couldn't remember the last time he actually ate something
    via u/Tthelaundryman
  • 04
    Sealed Route 1d ago • I had a patient come to me in emotional distress. He was afraid because he'd found a box of dirty, used syringes on the street and used them to shoot up. He didn't know what he had contracted. I gave him reassurance, told him we would figure out what to do no matter what the test results were. And remarkably, he came back negative for everything. It was such a relief.
    via u/SealedRoute
  • 05
    On the same visit when I gave him his results, I recommended that he get a tetanus shot. He looked me in the eye and refused "because vaccines are dangerous and kill people." It was hard to remain professional at that moment.
    via u/SealedRoute
  • 06
    naranghim 1d ago Worked in a physical rehab hospital and would witness this conversation between the doctor and a newly admitted patient: "Do you know what caused your stroke?" "Well, the hospital told me it was because I have high blood pressure, but I don't anymore. The high blood pressure medication cured it and so I stopped taking it."
    via u/naranghim
  • 07
    "Didn't your primary care tell you had to keep taking your medication?!" you that "Yeah, but you know how doctors are. They get kickbacks from the drug companies for keeping us on don't need." we "Got news for you. High blood pressure caused your stroke. You're lucky you didn't die. You are now back on your medication and if you go off it again, you will die. Here's the report of your blood pressure when you were admitted to the hospital."
    via u/naranghim
  • 08
    that is high. It was never that high before!" "It got that high because you stopped taking your medication. That's one of the side effects of stopping it cold turkey. DON'T DO IT AGAIN!" Some would get the message. A couple would say they were never going off their meds again because "My spouse will kill me." A few would come back even more debilitated from another stroke because they did it again. Others, we'd hear they had another stroke and died.
    via u/naranghim
  • 09
    chowchowracer • 1d ago Me, a dentist, to my patient: "Please, do not superglue your tooth back in your mouth again."
    via u/chowchowracer
  • 10
    syncopation_fracture • 1d ago My patient who crawled under his truck and "leg pressed" his engine back into place two weeks after his total hip arthroplasty. Came into clinic complaining of pain...
    via u/syncopation_fracture
  • 11
    zimmer199 • 1d ago I had a lady with heart failure who was in the hospital almost monthly with heart failure exacerbations. We told her time and again to limit salt and water intake. And she'd go home and drink pickle juice.
    via u/zimmer199
  • 12
    svrgnctzn • 1d ago "I got a 12 pack of tacos for dinner. After 5 or 6 tacos, my stomach started to hurt. By 9 I was feeling nauseated. When I finished an 12, the pain was so bad I thought I should get it checked out." 37y/o man in the ER at 2300.
    via u/svrgnctzn
  • 13
    . paginglindsey 1d ago Dialysis patient on fluid restriction comes in with severe volume overload. When asked how much water he drinks, he insists he's only drinking 8 ounces a day. The nurse pressed him a little more and he admitted to drinking a gallon of milk a day (exceeding his 64 ounces of fluids a day). He didn't realize milk counted as fluid
    via u/paginglindsey
  • 14
    StoicAscent 1d ago • I'm an optometrist in the U.S. and have a couple of memorable ones. I had an argument with one patient who insisted that there were great healing benefits to using urine eye drops. When asked about how she got these urine eye drops, she admitted to taking them directly from the toilet and putting them straight into her eyes. My pleas for her to consider the risk of developing bacterial keratitis fell on deaf ears. Still dreading the day that one returns to clinic with an inf
    via u/StoicAscent
  • 15
    And if I had a nickel for every time a patient came to me ~6 months after taking a severe blow to the eye and losing vision, only to find that they had a total retinal detachment that they thought they could just "walk off" instead of seeking care, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice in the three years I've been practicing.
    via u/StoicAscent
  • 16
    gutter153 . 1d ago Patient came in to have their denture repaired. I asked to see it, they said they didn't have it? Where is it? They said "no one told me to bring it in". Uhh do you also not bring your car to the mechanic?
    via u/gutter153
  • 17
    Heroic-Forger • 2d ago My mom once had a patient who was an old lady who was rushed to the E.R. after ingesting bug spray. After they managed to get her to a stable condition and had her admitted to a ward a few days later Mom asked her why she did that. Her response? "I accidentally swallowed a cockroach so I swallowed the bug spray to kill the cockroach."
    via u/Heroic-Forger
  • 18
    • NoNude Lips 1d ago Medical social worker here. I had a patient who discovered a full prescription that someone dropped in the Walmart parking lot. As he enjoyed taking drugs, he swallowed an entire bottle of blood pressure medication and wound up passing out in the middle of crossing the street and almost got crushed to death. I talked to him about how maybe that wasn't the brightest idea, he said he just wondered what they would do and I could tell that he'd do it again. He probably went righ
    via u/NoNudeLips
  • 19
    DSM2TNS • 1d ago Where do start.... Diabetic patient who said their doctor told them that their blood sugar needs to be around 250 (like the doctor said that). Guy with IBS constipation with bouts of explosive diarrhea did not understand why eating fast food for every meal was bad... There's lettuce and tomato on burgers and potatoes are a vegetable. Would not change his diet
    via u/DSM2TNS
  • 20
    and then got mad his IBS wasn't getting better. Lotion bathing... Not actually showering or bathing but "bathing" by putting on lotion every day. Also didn't understand why we didn't recommend he stand in a stagnant lake in the middle of summer to soak his leg wounds. Same patient also refused to wash his hands. He also got blacklisted from all 4 hospital systems in the area for indecent exposure and verbally threatening staff. He could be seen in the ED but that's it.
    via u/DSM2TNS
  • 21
    Another patient said his doctor told him he couldn't shower or bathe.... Said doctor came in and told him to shower and/or take a bath.... Patient still wasn't sure. Milk made lactose intolerance symptoms better for a bit..... Patent was sure their child was having an allergic reaction to Benadryl when, in fact, the child was crying because they were woken up by said parent at 3 am who wanted to watch TV at a loud volume and got super cranky (as I would). I gave the Benadryl at midnight.
    via u/DSM2TNS
  • 22
    Last one had osteomyelitis (bone infection) in a toe and needed it amputated. Went for a second opinion (which is OK) and got told the same thing but then wanted to know what his naturopath thought. Decided to use a "healing mat" (not sure what they're called) and ended up needing emergency surgery and lost his entire leg below the knee.
    via u/DSM2TNS
  • 23
    . Azby504 1d ago As a paramedic I received a call for difficulty breathing. Arrived on scene to find 52 year old female sitting in her living room. She told me she could only breath through one side of her nose when she woke up this morning. It is now 6:00am. She could breathe out of both sides just fine when she went to bed last night. She demanded to be transported to the ER to find out why this one side is not working right.
    via u/Azby504
  • 24
    . katanakid13 • 1d ago Not a doctor, medical assistant at an osteo/ortho joint practice. In Deep South. We got lots of stories. My favorite is the Salt Ladies. One thought you were supposed to soak in smelling salts to relieve inflammation and pain, so she'd crack one open in a bucket and soak her ankle. The other didn't realize you had to dissolve Epsom salt in water to use them and just rubbed them on her skin like she was cleansing her chakras.
    via u/katanakid13
  • 25
    PSUCivic 1d ago • I'm not a Dr. but I will never forget a conversation with my dad. We were talking about steak and how I like mine medium rare. This man, in his mid 50s, says "I would prefer medium rare but I order medium because my Dr. said to not eat red meat". I then had to explain that "red meat" does not refer to the color of the steak
    via u/PSUCivic
  • 26
    Cheezburger Image 9924024064
    via Pixabay

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